


The Fear of Hate

by bitsnbobs



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron's fear, Angst, Break Up, But mentions ONS briefly, Can ED remember the baby properly please?, Canon Compliant, Character Thoughts, Gen, M/M, Mentions Gordon, Not anti-Rebecca or Robert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 07:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11801757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsnbobs/pseuds/bitsnbobs
Summary: “But you clearly love Robert, Aaron. And how hard is it to love a child?”Vic says this to Aaron and his mind turns to words spoken by someone who should have loved him.





	The Fear of Hate

Aaron knew Vic didn’t mean anything by it. That she didn’t know how deep it cut. How it made his guts twist and bile start rising in his throat.

“But you clearly love Robert, Aaron. And how hard is it to love a child?”

“How hard is it to love a child?”

“How hard is it to love a child?”

_“Do you know how hard it was to love you?”_

Since Rebecca had walked back into the pub just over a month ago, that is all that had been going round and round in Aaron’s head. It was a baby. It was Robert’s baby. It was Robert’s son. Robert should love him. And so should he. 

But he couldn’t. He tried and tried and he thought he could do it, but his thoughts would always turn dark. Turn to mistakes, regrets, guilt and blame. They crowded his already restless mind. He couldn't make them stop. 

_“Do you know how hard it was to love you?”_

And it shouldn’t be hard. Vic was right.

He’d told the social worker about Paddy and Rhona’s marriage troubles because he didn’t think a child should be brought into that kind of environment. What kind of environment was this? A child conceived in a moment of hurt and pain, lies and deceit. It was already too complicated without a stepdad that didn’t know whether he could love the child. 

There were times when Aaron hated the child. 

He hated himself for that.

It terrified him. 

What if he became-

_“Do you know how hard it was to love you?”_

So he had to walk away. It was the only way. 

…

**Author's Note:**

> So... I wrote this because ED seems to have forgotten that Rebecca and the baby are the reason Aaron couldn't stay with Robert. I wish they would address this properly because nothing seems to be moving towards Robert accepting the baby either so we're in a kind of limbo. It's frustrating.


End file.
